Piercing Malfunction

It is almost certainly assured that if you indulge in body piercing beyond the usual ear lobe then you are going to experience situations that are humorous, embarrassing, or just down right gross. I mean come on, you have a foreign object stabbed through your skin, fatty tissue, cartilage, and/or other anatomical types of things I don't know the name of, your body is not going to treat it the same as it does all the other appendages and attachments you were born with. Also you are going to have to get up close and personal with your now decorated body part, sometimes while that part of you is not too happy with what you just did to it, and depending on the type of or placement of your chosen piercing(s) that in itself can be a story worth telling (or never tell).

That said, obviously I have had these types of situations arise, and over the years with each new piercing they have grown in frequency.

There was the time the ball of my tongue ring popped out and bounced across the table while ordering from a cute waitress. There was the other time that I swallowed my tongue ring and for some reason mentally felt like I could not correctly maneuver my tongue and therefore could not talk so had to hitch a ride and get a new one ASAP (thank you Derrick). Just getting my tongue pierced was comical, have you ever had a waitress start slurring and drooling while she is trying over and over again to ask you if you want a "side salad or coleslaw" with your sandwich?

There was the time in Lake Havasu that due to a little run in with the law I had to take my nipple piercing out just two weeks after getting it. There was the time that I went in to change the ball on my nipple piercing and upon lifting up my shirt the guy yelled, "Oh my God" in disgust and I screamed back, "Well they are all I got." Turns out he was gawking at the gauge (or size) of my bar, not the size of my chest.

Well, my clit piercing decided it was time to join in yesterday. Everything started out so normal, I woke up, went to work, had my first cup of coffee, that first cup of coffee made its way through my system, I went to the bathroom. Except this time when I dropped my pants a little black ball went bouncing across the stall floor and I thought to myself, "How did Derrick's earring get into my pants?"

Now that may seem an odd or absurd thought but let me first explain that I had only had one cup of coffee, it was only 8am, and I am not of sound body and mind until my second cup of coffee around 8:30. Secondly I had just gotten back from visiting Raf in Portland with Derrick and while there he lost one of the black balls on his cartilage piercing and we were unable to find it. So can you see why that thought popped into my mind?

Anyways, I reached over and picked up the black ball and realized that it was not the right type of ball for a cartilage piercing; it was for a dumbbell piercing. Now I want you all to imagine a person standing in a bathroom stall with their pants around their ankles, holding up a small black ball and then all of a sudden bending over to stare at their crotch, and pop back up with a "oh shit" look on their face. Yeah. That was me.

Here is where I will stop in the detailed descriptions, but I want you to know that it is not the easiest thing in the word to try and screw a little black ball back onto a little silver bar, when the before mentioned bar and other ball that is still attached to the other end is resting on a very very sensitive area of the female anatomy. Oh and did I forget to mention that all the while I am still in the bathroom stall at work?

The rest of my morning in the office was very... interesting.