I read a really good piece about Anna Nicole Smith's death today.
Link
It made me start thinking about what questions would I leave behind.
Now most people at the time of their death will not have even one-third the chaotic mess as Anna Nicole. Maybe a needed paternity test, but not three to four prospective want-to-be fathers (note the want and not could-be fathers). Perhaps a lingering legal case, but not a billion dollar one with a class action suit on the side. But really, what questions will be raised and left for speculation when you die?
At the time of your death your family, all of your different friends, your co-workers, your neighbors, and those acquaintances you have that feel obligated, will all converge together to mourn your death.
What memories or words will be said about you that will shock people? Baffle some? Awe others? Or have people wishing they had known when you were alive?
What secrets will come out? What lies will be found out? What parts of your life will come to light?
Who will be left angered by you? Who will be left feeling like they did not know you? Who will be left now hating you? Who will be left wishing they had known you better?
Who will be left shaking and scratching their heads, trying to put the pieces together, but unable to, because there are so many unanswered questions?
But even if you could, could you answer them? Could you explain the gaps between your lives? Could you explain to your family the person your friends know and vice-a-versa?
Is that a bad thing? I am not sure, but I think that is the most important question, because if it isn't, then the uneasy feelings we have about what will come out at our death is just a waste of time, but if it is a bad thing then it should be cause to change, and now. I don't think I could change, but that is not an answer to my question, maybe just a hope as to the answer.
Sorry for my list of questions without answers.
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2 comments:
Death seems to have the ability (albeit temporary) to open people to the vast complexity of a person's life, and the great beauty that lies in the contradictions. People seem to find humor and comfort in watching the puzzle pieces meet - often for the first time - as that secret narrative unfolds. I've seen years of hatred and resentment evaporate, unprecedented forgiveness, and an open-minded acceptance of the unseen life. It's just too bad people wait until someone dies to ask the questions - and more importantly, to accept the answers. *** Of course nothing I just wrote applies to celebrity death because the public and its media vehicles are an unfeeling mob with an insatiable appetite for entertainment, often at the cost of a person's dignity. Ah, but we all know it's our own collective dignity that's getting flushed, don't we? ***
Hey, it was great meeting you guys last night! Seattle hangovers seem to be about the same as Vancouver ones..
Keep in touch!
Duane
duanestorey at gmail
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