So I just wrote up what they call a holographic will tonight while making dinner.
My Mom has been freaking out due to recent deaths of younger people in my family and friend's lives, and one of the things she has centered on is not knowing my wishes or anyone being able to make decisions for me if I am lying drooling in a hospital bed. So she has been wanting me to write out a will of sorts.
So I wrote the draft while cooking (chicken with garlic, parsley and celery, cooked in white wine with pasta on the side) and wrote the final draft while eating. Except now I am noticing a grease spot on it so maybe another final draft is needed. Oops.
Most of it was pretty simple: What I want done with my body, my stuff, the cats, etc. The difficult part was what to do if no one knows if I am dead.
Sure, if the doctors say I am a goner and just taking up bed space that is easy, but what if they are not sure. Well then, really the only person who knows if they should pull the plugs or not is me, but I can't really say what to do, can I?
So what do you put down?
Well, if more than half the doctors say I am gone...
If you ask me and I don't squeeze your hand...
Give me a week... no actually I am a heavy sleeper, give me two weeks...
What a crappy thing to have to write down someone's name and say, 'Well, it is up to you. You make the call. I hope you make the right one.'
A few random thoughts:
Does including a joke or two in your will make it less legit in the eyes of the law? And why do they say, "in the eyes of the law"? Isn't that lady blindfolded?
Dinner came out really well. The chicken came out near perfect and I have now found that you can make boxed white cheddar macaroni and cheese taste awesome by adding the celery and spices cooked in white wine instead of the milk. Oh, but it does stain wills.
And lastly, I put in there that there has to be a party. You all are invited of course.
Monday, April 30, 2007
I could never have kids.
I already have a laundry list of reasons as to why I do not want to have kids: first of all... ouch, but also I saw what I did to my Mom and I know karma would give me a girl. But now I have another reason, I could not handle it if anything went wrong.
My cat, Sebastian, is my baby of the bunch. Not favorite, but the baby. Saturday night I got out of the shower and walked into my bedroom and there on the floor were a couple wet spots. I went and got a paper towel to clean them up thinking that they were just bile from one of them trying to cough up a hairball (two long-haired cats in the house means this is not unusual) when I notice a wet spot on the bed too. When I went over to this one it distinctly smelled like pee.
I jumped up and walked into the hallway where Sebastian was sitting. I asked him if he had peed on the bed. (Yes I talk to them.) That is when he got up and walked over to the cat liter, and right where he had been sitting was a wet spot. But the wet spot looked weird. I crouched down and realized that not only was it a very very dark color, it was also gel-like!
All the while I am doing this; Sebastian is sitting in the litter box looking like he is trying to pee and like he is in pain. What do I do at this moment? Panic.
With just a towel on my head I ran out to the kitchen where Sebastian is. That is when I notice more spots on the kitchen floor near the liter box. Then another a little further away, then another… There were some on his cat tree, some on the living room floor, kitchen floor, under the table, etc. I am now running all over the apartment with nothing on but a towel on my head, looking at the floor and every time I find another spot making some sort of unintelligible gasping squeal. I so hope my neighbors were not home.
I then run to my cell phone and call Derrick.
Derrick: “Hi”
Me: “Derrick, I need you here NOW!”
Derrick: “What’s wrong? What’s going on?”
Me: Repeated stuttering for about 30 seconds “I – I – I”
Derrick: “I will be right over.”
Click.
This is when I realize I am standing naked in my kitchen so I run to the bedroom and throw on a pair of pants and shirt that is lying on my floor (meaning what I slept in last night).
Derrick came over and I frantically told him everything I had found. He called the emergency vet because I still had a bit of a stuttering problem, and they told him to bring Sebastian in IMMEDIATELY.
And that is when I started to really panic…
Sebastian is fine. He had to spend the weekend at the emergency vet, and we transferred him to his normal vet this morning. He will have to be on a prescription diet from now on to prevent this from happening again, but beyond that it looks like there was no permanent damage.
Perhaps once this is really all over I will write about how it went at the emergency vet and the procedure, but for now this is getting long and I still have a few more chances to have a breakdown of all my sensibility.
My cat, Sebastian, is my baby of the bunch. Not favorite, but the baby. Saturday night I got out of the shower and walked into my bedroom and there on the floor were a couple wet spots. I went and got a paper towel to clean them up thinking that they were just bile from one of them trying to cough up a hairball (two long-haired cats in the house means this is not unusual) when I notice a wet spot on the bed too. When I went over to this one it distinctly smelled like pee.
I jumped up and walked into the hallway where Sebastian was sitting. I asked him if he had peed on the bed. (Yes I talk to them.) That is when he got up and walked over to the cat liter, and right where he had been sitting was a wet spot. But the wet spot looked weird. I crouched down and realized that not only was it a very very dark color, it was also gel-like!
All the while I am doing this; Sebastian is sitting in the litter box looking like he is trying to pee and like he is in pain. What do I do at this moment? Panic.
With just a towel on my head I ran out to the kitchen where Sebastian is. That is when I notice more spots on the kitchen floor near the liter box. Then another a little further away, then another… There were some on his cat tree, some on the living room floor, kitchen floor, under the table, etc. I am now running all over the apartment with nothing on but a towel on my head, looking at the floor and every time I find another spot making some sort of unintelligible gasping squeal. I so hope my neighbors were not home.
I then run to my cell phone and call Derrick.
Derrick: “Hi”
Me: “Derrick, I need you here NOW!”
Derrick: “What’s wrong? What’s going on?”
Me: Repeated stuttering for about 30 seconds “I – I – I”
Derrick: “I will be right over.”
Click.
This is when I realize I am standing naked in my kitchen so I run to the bedroom and throw on a pair of pants and shirt that is lying on my floor (meaning what I slept in last night).
Derrick came over and I frantically told him everything I had found. He called the emergency vet because I still had a bit of a stuttering problem, and they told him to bring Sebastian in IMMEDIATELY.
And that is when I started to really panic…
Sebastian is fine. He had to spend the weekend at the emergency vet, and we transferred him to his normal vet this morning. He will have to be on a prescription diet from now on to prevent this from happening again, but beyond that it looks like there was no permanent damage.
Perhaps once this is really all over I will write about how it went at the emergency vet and the procedure, but for now this is getting long and I still have a few more chances to have a breakdown of all my sensibility.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
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