Am I morbidly sick?

So I just wrote up what they call a holographic will tonight while making dinner.

My Mom has been freaking out due to recent deaths of younger people in my family and friend's lives, and one of the things she has centered on is not knowing my wishes or anyone being able to make decisions for me if I am lying drooling in a hospital bed. So she has been wanting me to write out a will of sorts.

So I wrote the draft while cooking (chicken with garlic, parsley and celery, cooked in white wine with pasta on the side) and wrote the final draft while eating. Except now I am noticing a grease spot on it so maybe another final draft is needed. Oops.

Most of it was pretty simple: What I want done with my body, my stuff, the cats, etc. The difficult part was what to do if no one knows if I am dead.

Sure, if the doctors say I am a goner and just taking up bed space that is easy, but what if they are not sure. Well then, really the only person who knows if they should pull the plugs or not is me, but I can't really say what to do, can I?

So what do you put down?
Well, if more than half the doctors say I am gone...
If you ask me and I don't squeeze your hand...
Give me a week... no actually I am a heavy sleeper, give me two weeks...

What a crappy thing to have to write down someone's name and say, 'Well, it is up to you. You make the call. I hope you make the right one.'


A few random thoughts:

Does including a joke or two in your will make it less legit in the eyes of the law? And why do they say, "in the eyes of the law"? Isn't that lady blindfolded?

Dinner came out really well. The chicken came out near perfect and I have now found that you can make boxed white cheddar macaroni and cheese taste awesome by adding the celery and spices cooked in white wine instead of the milk. Oh, but it does stain wills.

And lastly, I put in there that there has to be a party. You all are invited of course.