Crossing the border

I never really had a problem crossing the Mexico/USA border back in California. Hey, I look like a gringa, act like a gringa, and when I speak Spanish, boy do I sound like a gringa too. So yeah, no problems crossing the border even when piss drunk. There have even been a couple of times while on a greyhound, at the checkpoint just north of San Diego, they did not even wake me up to ask to see my ID.

The Canadian border? Not so much luck. Here are a few things I have learned NOT to do while going across the Canadian/USA border:

1) If you did not understand what the officer just said, do not repeat what you think they just said.
2) Do not try and crack jokes.
3) Do not ask if it is appropriate for them to ask you the question they just asked.
4) Do not laugh in the officer's face when they ask a question you think is funny or absurd.
5) Do not go into detail about the type of hand cuffs used that one time you were arrested.
And finally,
6) While in the border crossing lobby, do not grab your friend's passport and waive it about and exclaim that the reason you were stopped is because they look like a thug in their picture.

Well actually number 6 isn't really a no-no for crossing the border, just a polite thing not to do.


A little bit more on the different occasions where I picked up these gems of knowledge:

1) If the Canadian officer asks if you have any turpentine on you, it is quite possible that they are actually saying tobacco.
2) If the officer asks which one of you in the car is (insert female name) and you are the only female in the car, he/she is not stupid, this is the normal protocol and they do not like it when you point to a male in the car.
3) If the officer asks if you went to Canada to get married, they are simply trying to take you off guard and you asking them if that is an appropriate question makes them suspicious. I am still unsure if they are okay or not with comments such as, "Oh, is that illegal now too?"
4) If the officer asks if you have $10,000 in US or Canadian cash on you, this again is standard protocol. They don't appreciate people leaning out the car and bursting into laughter in their face.
5) If you are pulled out of line and have to go into the big ominous building for more questioning, small talk is not advised. This is mainly due to the fact that the only topics being raised, and hence small talk can stem from are: your previous illegal actions, if you have anything illegal in your car, and any illegal activity that you could do while in the country.
6) Well like I said, it is not really a no-no and was actually quite funny, but you might want to check your friends' passport pictures prior to trying to cross the border. Either way it could bring you a few laughs.


The picture is of one of the road blocks I saw while waiting in line to cross back into the USA. Nuff said.

Mystery Solved

Last weekend I went down to SF for a Giants/Dodgers series. Three whole days of baseball, greasy food, beer, screaming and yelling, and more baseball. :-D

Well we lost all three games. :-(

But I got to meet up with Sirena, Martin, Derrick, Staci, and Daniel. :-D

All in all it was a GREAT weekend, and to top it all off a mystery in my life that has had me perplexed for years was solved!


So to back up a little bit, for as long as I can remember my Mom has had a jade bracelet on her left wrist. This of course could be because she got it just prior to me being conceived but that is besides the point. The point is that I remember that bracelet even when I was really young, you know, when the most important thing in life was convincing your parents to let you have five instead of four Oreo cookies for dessert.

Either way, when I turned 21 my Mom got me a jade bracelet. Some olive oil, a quick 1-2-3, and bam, that bad boy was on there. The sides of my hand was bruised for a while but thankfully you only have to go through that process once.

Well here is my mystery. A while ago I noticed what looked like pencil marks on my bracelet. That is really the best way to describe them, but they would not rub or scratch off and when you felt the area where they were the bracelet was completely smooth.

Now I was positive they were not there when I originally got the bracelet. I could not say exactly when they appeared, but there they were, pencil marks on my jade bracelet that were not scratched into the stone but would not come off either. I was pretty pissed and really confused.


So back to this last weekend. I was at dinner with all of the above mentioned friends when Sirena asked about my bracelet. In talking about it I mention these strange markings and showed them to her. Well lo and behold Sirena knew exactly what they were!

"That is metal. That is what metal looks like when it strikes stone, and yeah it will feel smooth and not scratch off."

At first I was totally shocked and happy that I finally knew what these marks were but then it dawned on me HOW they had gotten there. I was so excited that without really thinking or taking into consideration that we were in a small restaurant of about 10 tables, ours being the one in the middle, I yelled out:

"Oh! Oh! I know where they came from! They are from my nipple piercing! They are always clinking together when I am in the shower!"


So the mystery is now solved and there are now a handful of people out there who know of a girl who has a problem with her nipple piercing clinking against something while she is in the shower.

I think it was an educational experience for all. :)